Seriously? You're still here? You’re curious about our mortuary? Aren't you a bit too young for a funeral plan? Well, okay. If you’re gonna twist our arms like this, we’ll give you the VIP tour of our mortuary.

 

In an attempt to shut off any suspicions from the Mortals, our family of wayward spirits opened a business to suit our predisposition. Headed by our Funeral Director, we are responsible for the disposal of both the souls and bodies of the supernatural entities we handle. Not only that, we also provide our services for the occasional human body that comes our way. Let us walk you through the process. 

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So when you die, we will escort your family to our office. There they will meet with the Funeral Director and Manager who will discuss the funeral plan options with your family. Then we shall show them the privacy room located right next door. It is called as such because only your family members can use it. Next to it and further down the hall are the male and female washrooms. Individuals who fall in either or neither category can use whichever they prefer, of course. The last cubicle within each is always out of order. So you recognize the word, huh? If you’re thinking that it must be somehow connected to The Order, then you’re dead right. The toilets are indeed connected to The Void. We use them for the disposal of spirits and other supernatural entities when the Cleaners are unavailable. It certainly makes for easier egress. Try not to fall into the other ones though. We can't guarantee where you’ll end up in. 

On the opposite side is the wake room which spans the entire hall. It is our biggest room, wallpapered in a calming green and white damask. As the name suggests, it is where people visit you to get a glimpse for one final time. At the end of the hall are stairs leading down to the basement. There you will find, hidden from the public, the embalming room and crematorium. Our embalmer will masterfully restore a blush of life on your otherwise lifeless body. Or if preferred, our crematory tech will incinerate your organs, bones and hide into fine, fine ashes. No more meat cage. Only indistinguishable particles of matter. Like how you have always wanted. 

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And that concludes the tour! Kindly leave our grounds, we will be closing soon. Hmm? What do you mean we’re missing someone? You say she was following us silently the whole time but I can’t remember seeing someone of that description.

 

Oh! Perhaps you saw a Specter. ( ̶O̶n̶e̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶u̶s̶.̶)

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In any case, that’s it for now. Until we meet again.